Friday, 20 March 2009
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Girls Playing Video Games: A Sensitive Response
Two days ago (I know, ancient history in xanga-time but bear with me), a young lady had the courage and audacity to speak about her trials and tribulations as a woman gamer.
She placed her suffering in a framework that was meant to be humorous, but anyone with a heart could tell how personally she took the horrible insensitive comments that had been thrown her way. It must be so tough to be her. So, in response to her insightful and vulnerable post, I just have one thing to say:
GROW. SOME. FRAKKING. BALLS.
Seriously, it’s people like you that give female gamers a bad name. You say you can hang with the boys, but you get your panties all in a knot when boys act like, well, boys. A lot of boys communicate primarily via insult.
It’s not happy and it’s probably not healthy, but it’s the way they work. And if a boy takes something personally, he’s just ragged on all the more. You'd probably rag on him too if you sensed weakness. That is the gaming environment.
You claim that it’s “annoying” to listen to stupid boys. Yeah, it is. That’s nothing to do with gender, though. Some people will try to get on everyone’s nerves, so you are nothing special. You think its hard hearing sexist comments? Try the violent homophobic threats that get thrown around.
Most people online don’t know I'm gay (lol, first time I’ve written that down on the internet in so many words; what a weird way to come out), but just because the guy doesn’t know what he’s saying doesn’t soften the blow of “I'm gonna kill you, you f_cking f_g.”
But I'm not there to teach anyone a lesson in sensitivity training. I'm there to play a game. If I was so insecure that I let those things get to me (and they used to), online gaming would not be the right world for me (which is why I stopped for a long time).
What is annoying is when someone playing takes it beyond mere words and sidetracks the game in order to make someone they don’t like suffer. Players who insist on picking on one person, especially a member of their own team, are the ones who are really annoying.
When it comes down to it, real gamers know how to be competitive without taking it personally. They use every advantage they can to succeed at the expense of others. It’s not mean, it’s not personal, and it’s not even really about your gender. It’s just competition. If you can’t make that distinction, you’re not a real gamer.
You’re a wannabe, a poser who cares too much what other people think of you. And if you are willing to put a personal grudge over winning said video game (like your reluctance to help sexist teammates), then you are not there to win. People who are willing to ruin a game for the sake of a personal grudge are not gamers, they are a trolls.
That’s right, YOU ARE A TROLL. Get off the team and make room for someone who understands that within the context of a gaming environment, everyone is there to win. Grow some thicker skin or go play barbies.
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- From: GoodbyeSickan@xanga
- About Me: A now finished story of darkness moving into light
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Comments (59)
Haha! I loved this.
I don't know if it's healthy, but it seems pretty happy to me. My son and his friends say the most outlandish things to one another and everybody laughs, off XboX 360 and on. During gaming, they yell, call each other names and make their characters teabag one another after a kill and judging by the gales of laughter I hear coming from his room, I'm guessing they're all having a great time.
I figured that was just how young guys communicate with their friends.
I also figure that most of the time rude things are said as a joke during online gaming and aren't really meant to be hurtful, but sometimes are. It definitely takes a thick skin to game online.
A bit uncalled for...
I see where both of you are coming from. Frankly, I don't play XBL with a headset on anymore. I'm just sick of all the racist, homophobic, misogynistic shit on there. I haven't wanted to punch a twelve year old so badly since Chet Daniels in the fifth grade, and frankly if I play Halo one more time I think I might suckerpunch the next random tween boy that walks past my apartment.
Interesting. Can't say I completely agree, but it was good to hear another viewpoint.
Two thumbs up.
Really, I'm sick of talking about the whole "girl gamer issue." I've been gaming since I was old enough to hold a controller. I never have any issues with playing online. Girls need to stop bitching about not being treated fairly online.
You're there to(usually) kill the other players. Guess what? They're going to try to kill you back.
So I leave one piece of advice:
Shut the fuck up and play.
the thing is... they aren't also doing it as a joke (making the insults) most of the time it is because they are behind a computer screen where nobody can find you. other times is because some are actually socially awkward gamers.
people shouldn't accept immaturity while trying to enjoy a game and she was right to complain, that's how things change, that's how revolutions happen... why do you think the mainstream looks down on most gamers, because they think games are for kids and the immature insults kind of make good evidence for that.
Uh, you're an asshole. Communicating via insult? What are you, cavemen? "Gangsters?" Hah. She made many VALID points about men doing ALL the points she had in her post.
And women agreed because THATS WHAT YOU DO.
Don't tell any girl to grow balls because we're pointing out the obvious that you do.
And YOU are a fucking troll just for posting this rude response to a pretty damn good post.
Go back to your gaming and "just play the game" and "be a real gamer" and "not take things personally" . By the way, GROW SOME BALLS you robot.
A not-very-sensitive response. It wasn't like the girl-gamer was writhing in angst or misery because of all the taunts she gets as a girl. She just said it as it is. Why get so worked up about it?
Find it kind of funny that you are basically telling her not to get her panties up in a bunch over games, but you seem to be doing the exact same thing over her post.
I view the people who throw insults at others as not really helping the team either, since they're not creating a friendly environment (which is always good for the team). At least the people who hold a grudge over it have a reason for hating on others.
Shit talking FTW.
Yep, great post. Gamers should fight on their own (or with the group/clan together if there are any) and ignore those hurting words. Video game characters are resistant over that so gamers should do the same as well.
The OP is a fucktard, or just has some very poor reading comprehension. This post contains 500% more bitching and QQ than the post they are referring to, which was entertaining and was used primarily for discussing interesting stories about being a part of a minority group. It's not an "issue," it was just a topic in a vast sea of topics about video games. What, we can only talk about superficial things instead of talking about our community and sharing stories about actual human interaction?
Uhhhh.....so completely overreacting. Nowhere in her entry did I get out of it that she couldn't handle the remarks of bullheaded male game players. I've read a lot recently about guys having these pea-brained assumptions about girls and video games...it IS annoying. You boys need to come out from the rock you're living under and get with the times.
How presumptuous.
P.S. Less QQ, more pew pew.
Repressed issues much?
I really don't think it's fair to say she isn't a "real" gamer or use the insinuation to attack the fact that she does enjoy video games.
We are all entitled to our opinions, with that being said, I appreciate you opinion on the subject as much as any other.
Ok, People. Read the post. I'm not complaining that she's complaining that people are boneheads. I agree with her there. My main points are: 1. People always look for weaknesses. If it wasn't her gender, it'd be something else, so its not really an issue or girl vs. boy. 2. she sidetracks the game, even at the expense of her own team, to deal with personal grudges. She admits that proudly. Can anyone seriously tell me that they don't get annoyed when they see one teammate turn on another? How is that not ruining the game for everyone else?
Wow, I think someone is a little upset? Panties in a bunch?
A-fucking-men.
I hate females (and the gamers even more) for crap like this.
@Papillon_Mom@xanga - thanks
@haloed@xanga - she did make some valid points that some people are jerks. I just think taking things up a notch and moving from words to in-game actions only makes things worse for everyone. Guess I'm not up on the lingo, what do you mean by robot?
@vickevlar@xanga - No, I just wanted to present a different side. A side that gets annoyed when people let personal issues affect gameplay. I guess I also get pissed at the idea that some girls seem to think that if they were boys they wouldn't have to deal with such vulgarity, which is why I brought up my own experience.
@Prequel@xanga - No, if anything I'm not repressed enough, don't you think?
@CreativeSparx@xanga - happens to the best of us!
Oh, and hardestlevel.com: I'm very disappointed in your picture choice. I was really hoping for a picture of a grown man crying. Or a picture of a troll with large testicles, just to really confuse people.
Hahah, I totally agree with you.
Oh I'm one of those people who like yells all the time while playing lol. I
I get those sexist comments all the time, but I definately don't start an online war over it. I just laugh it off. Like, wooah okay, whatever man...
@SoundofSapphire@xanga - You hit it dead on.
Get over it girls. What do you expect? The only place you're going to get any sympathy from being a gamer is if you happen to be on vent while raiding on wow. Even voice chat on left4dead and CS say gtf over it if you're whining cause you're a girl.
Play like a boy, act like a boy. Just because you're wearing makeup doesn't make you any different.
The end-all and be-all of a game isn't winning. If she gets some cynical fulfillment from retribution against a person who is acting like a loser, then I support it. They don't deserve to win, and it is so much more satisfying and entertaining to take down someone who's being a dick than to win what is probably otherwise a forgettable match. It's about fun. If you get a story that you can laugh about with your friends later on, then why not?
You seriously expect anyone to believe that the reasons for this post are because of teamkilling and feeling predisposed to trashtalking? First, you're dead wrong on the latter, as the many responses to her post can attest to. 99% of the time you are ignored and no one pays attention or cares what you specifically are doing unless they have a reason to, and being female happens to be one reason. It isn't equal-opportunity shit-talking. Second, who cares? The focus of her post wasn't to whine about how badly she's been treated, it was just musing on the different treatment you get- half of her message was to ignore it and enjoy the game anyway, which is basically the same thing you're saying only without portraying herself as an absolute tool in the process.
And as far as teamkilling/taking a dive goes, the bitterness in this far exceeds the levels expected from something solely about that. So one game out of a hundred sucks because your teammates aren't playing in the spirit of the game. You just move on to the next one, not a big deal. I won't defend all people who do it just because they get a kick out of annoying their teammates, but I don't care if someone occasionally does it with an actual reason.
I'd wager that the foundation of this post is a capitalization on the fact that people act like rallying against political correctness and brashly making a controversial point is inherently "broadening the discourse" and brilliant. Here's a secret: unless you actually have anything insightful to say, it's not.
As a side not, I hate the classifications of "real gamer." What bullshit, if you take playing seriously and enjoy it beyond just a simple pastime, then I say you're a "real gamer." It's about how you see yourself, not about how you fit some external definition.
I have to say, I agree with you on various degrees. I sort of thought the same thing :)
While someone can care what others say (perhaps they are just uncomfortable with conflict of that nature, nothing wrong with that), that doesn't mean that if someone throws a direct hit with no intent of caring or backing down that they should just cripple. Diplomacy is a good policy, but there's no changing some people, and some people just don't care on the internet. There's no sense making it an argument once you've said how you feel. None at all. There's also no reason to act childish about it by hurting your other teammates who have done nothing to you because of one person's idiocy.
I also believe though, that the end all, as vickevlar said, isn't winning. There's a lot more to gaming, and while winning is a lovely and very awesome part of it, it doesn't have to be the only part. It's not worth being an asshole over, but its not to be so belittled that you cry in a corner over an insult instead of getting up and helping your team.
I think there's a common medium somewhere in the middle (depending on how you talk to people and deal with things, of course), but that you definitely have a very true in many aspects view.
Perhaps it didn't need to be so blunt but hey, that's how the point gets driven home, I guess :P