Saturday, 04 July 2009

• Games for the Fourth of July

  
  

  
  On the fourth of July every year, we Americans celebrate our independence day. We commemorate the day we fully wrested control of our "colonies" from British oppression. You know, even though the war ended in 1783, not 1776. And despite the fact most signed the Declaration of Independence on August 2. Whatever. We're going to shoot off some fireworks now. A little historical inaccuracy is not going to rain on our parade.
  
  But, yes, if you're not in the mood to blow off your fingers with firecrackers, there are games that will get you in the "independent" spirit. Minutemen, at the ready! The cartridges are coming! The cartridges are coming!
  
  

  Liberty or Death
  

  
  

  
  

  
  Nothing captures the excitement of the Revolutionary War like turn-based strategy! Actually, this game is like a turn-based board game in that you have to have a lot of time on your hands to actually finish a game. At least it appears to be well-made and historically accurate. Please, readers, some mildly enthusiastic applause!
  
  

  Captain America and the Avengers
  

  
  

  
  

  
  Think X-Men...only more American! I enjoy beat-'em-ups, especially when co-oping them. So I probably would've loved playing this with friends in the arcades, you know, if I wasn't six when it was released. Sigh.
  
  

  American Gladiators
  

  
  

  
  

  
  For older Nintendo and Sega systems, there are a lot of bad games to sift through before you find good ones, let alone great ones like the Super Mario Bros. and Zelda series. American Gladiators, though, for what it's worth, is a fun diversion for the short term. Experience the thrill of the Joust and the agony of the Wall!
  
  

  G.I. Joe
  

  
  

  
  

  
  Not bad for a run-and-gun NES game. You actually get health bars and the ability to choose G.I. Joe characters. Still, you might just want to stick to Internet memes for your fix of anti-Cobra sentiment.
  
  

  NBA Jam
  

  
  

  
  

  
  This has nothing to do with Independence Day; it's just damn fun to play. "Is it the shoes?!"
  *****
  Here's wishing you a patriotic and safe Fourth of July, and one filled with independence. You know, as much independence as you can have living with your parents.
  
  Double sigh. 
  

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